good morin

Happy LoVE day

The Kingdom Of Heaven Is Within Me, May My Soul Guide Me In The Right Direction

The Kingdom Of Heaven Is Within Me, May My Soul Guide Me In
The Right Direction


This is pretty neat.

Birth Certificate shows that we were born
A Death Certificate shows that we died
Pictures show that we live!
Have a seat. Relax . . .
And read this slowly.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is,
They're going to hurt you
Every once in a while,
And you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
Even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people
Who do what has to be done,
When it needs to be done,
Regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I
Can do anything or nothing
And have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes, when I'm angry,
I have the right to be angry, but that
Doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do
With what types of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them,
And less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough
To be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn
To forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad
Your heart is broken,
The world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances
May have influenced who we are, but,
We are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be
So eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing
And see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed
In a matter of hours
By people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think
You have no more to give,
When a friend cries out to you,
You will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
Do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about
Most in life
Are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
That you should send this to
All of the people that you believe in.
I just did.
'The happiest of people don't necessarily have
The best of everything;
They just make the most of everything

Hugs balance brain chemicals

Hugs balance brain chemicals

Here is something I found from my journal writing in 2003. I was thinking about the people who say that depressed, self-harming teens have "chemical imbalances". The excuse of "chemical imbalances" is especially popular with parents who don't want to take any responsibility for emotionally harming their own children and teens. But I don't believe the teens have any innate chemical imbalances. I don't think they were born with some kind of brain problem. I think they were born with sensitive brain connections, but not "chemical imbalances."

What I would say is that when their environment causes them pain, they are affected by it more intensely, and their chemicals are temporarily out of balance in moments of pain.

After talking to many teens who tell me their parents don't listen to them and don't give them hugs, I have thought more about the mental health benefits of hugs. This led me to this simple, but powerful thought:

Hugs balance brain chemicals

I believe that if the teens would have consistently received hugs during their moments of emotional pain when they were younger, they would be much less depressed as teenagers. Often, all we need when we are emotionally upset is someone to listen to us and give us a hug.

I also believe this is the most natural way for us to get our brain chemicals back into balance. And it is the most peaceful way. There might be times when violence and aggression helps balance our brain chemicals to some degree, but while violence breeds violence, hugs breed more hugs.

Signs of High and Low EQ

Signs of High and Low EQ

Note: This was written before I made a clear distinction between innate emotional intelligence and what happens later in life...So it is better to think of these as signs of a healthy or well-developed innate emotional intelligence

Listed below are general characteristics of people with high and low EQ, as I define it. Obviously, these are generalizations, but are helpful as guidelines. Please note that these lists include general signs of high and low self-esteem, as well as other variables which have not in fact been specifically correlated to emotional intelligence as defined by Mayer and Salovey. Future work will attempt to more clearly differentiate between self-esteem, emotional intelligence and my definition of EQ.

Signs of High EQ

A person with High EQ:

Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with "I feel..."
Does not disguise thoughts as feelings by the use of "I feel like...." and "I feel that...." sentences.
Is not afraid to express her feelings.
Is not dominated by negative emotions such as:

Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness,
Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement

Is able to read non-verbal communication.
Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
Is intrinsically motivated.
Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
Is emotionally resilient.
Tends to feel optimistic, but is also realistic, and can feel pessimistic at times.
Does not internalize failure.
Is interested in other people's feelings.
Is comfortable talking about feelings.
Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
Is able to identify multiple concurrent feelings.

Signs of Low EQ - Or Unhealthy Development of Innate Emotional Intelligence

A person with Low EQ:

Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them.
Can't put together three word sentences starting with "I feel..."
Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or can't do it without blaming someone else.
Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and others.
Tries to analyze you, for example when you express your feelings.
Often begins sentences with "I think you..."

Ex - I think you need to.. I think you should...
Sends "you messages" disguised as "I feel messages" For example, "I feel like you ...."
Lays guilt trips on you.
Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
Exaggerates or minimizes her feelings.
Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
Carries grudges; is unforgiving.
Doesn't tell you where you really stand with her.
Is uncomfortable to be around.
Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
Plays games; is indirect or evasive.
Is insensitive to your feelings.
Has no empathy, no compassion.
Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
Does not consider your feelings before acting.
Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
Avoids responsibility by saying things like: "What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!
Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others' joy.
Or may be overly optimistic, to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others' legitimate fears.
Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too insecure to be open to new facts.
Can tell you the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can't tell you how she feels about it.
Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how his actions impact others' feelings.
Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses the emotions being communicated. Focusses on "facts" rather than feelings.

Adapted from EQ for Everybody by Steve Hein, 1996,

Lovely couple

"Love Not War" Dawn Richard & Kaleena

"Love Not War" Dawn Richard & Kaleena- Dirty money (new song 2009) from Danity Kane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4HFmK2PP6g